-LRB- CNN -RRB- -- When I first arrived in Rwanda 's capital in 2012 , I deliberately did not visit the Kigali Genocide Memorial . I was n't sure what to expect , but I did not want that experience to influence how I approached the country and its people .

In my mind , Rwanda was going to be this country that was still on the brink of economic disaster . It would be very poorly set up , with a bad road system and difficult telecommunications . Frankly , I despaired of working with the government , thinking it would be extremely challenging to work with .

I remember 1994 well . I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in West Africa and the Rwandan genocide , right on the heels of Nelson Mandela 's election in South Africa , was big news across the continent .

The child-run household I met after the genocide

When I was assigned to Rwanda 18 years later , my first thought was the genocide -- this is probably true for most people . But when I asked friends and colleagues who had lived there for advice , they spoke highly of the country and her people . I started seeing this as another adventure on this continent that I love , though I had visions of the film `` Hotel Rwanda '' resounding in my mind .

Those preconceptions were quickly dispelled once I got there .

When you get to Rwanda , you are hit by the incongruity that strikes so many : How could such a horrible thing have happened in such a beautiful country ? The nickname Land of a Thousand Hills is not an exaggeration . Rwanda 's countryside is dotted with what appear to be literally a thousand hills that are a mixture of mountains , volcanoes and hillocks . The beauty is reflected in the people : Rwandans are incredibly friendly and hospitable . But just as you can not see the other side of a mountain , you can not always tell what is going on behind those eyes .

Rwandans obey their country 's many rules . I love that , to reduce pollution , plastic bags are forbidden and even taken from you when you arrive at the airport ! For anyone who has spent time in Africa , it 's incredible to see people actually wearing helmets on motorcycles , drivers and passengers alike , both in Kigali and in the countryside .

National pride and a commitment to the idea that Rwandans should lead the development of their country are strong . From them came the concept of Umuganda , or community service . During the last Saturday of each month , citizens do some type of community work in their neighborhood , like picking up garbage or cutting the grass . If they do not show up , they 're fined an amount determined by the neighborhood leader . -LRB- These days the neighborhoods are like anywhere else : Some are made up of different tribes and ethnicities and others are homogenous . -RRB-

Amid the beautiful parks and tea plantations are the somber genocide memorials found in virtually every community . They serve as a daily reminder to never forget the atrocities . At the same time , they allow for personal reflection on mankind 's capacity for both evil and resilience .

Four months after my arrival , I was ready to see the Kigali Genocide Memorial . I was glad I had waited . You walk alongside slabs of cement : a mass grave where over 250,000 people killed in Kigali are buried . At the end of one of the cement tombs is a wall with names , an attempt to identify some of the souls lost during the tragic 100 days of the genocide . You almost weep when you realize they will never identify them all .

One room tells the tale of other genocides or `` cleansing '' events in history around the world , reminding us that the international community has not been diligent about the oft-quoted pledge , `` Never again . '' And in the room dedicated to children who were killed -- you see their names , what they enjoyed doing and who was their best friend -- your heart starts to tear . I was never able to actually read all the remembrances to these children . Though I have always considered myself a pretty tough and realistic humanitarian worker , I had never seen anything like this .

A single visit ensures that the memorial realizes its purpose -- you will never forget .

It 's an experience that makes you wonder how any society can come back together after something that tears so deeply . But I know from what I had seen , and from my organization 's work , that it is possible . Many genocide survivors and perpetrators have since been able to seek and grant forgiveness and now live peacefully , side by side .

I watched a woman tear up and embrace a man who had killed her family .

Witnessing these scenes is almost surreal , but deeply moving and humbling . Could I ever forgive ? Could I ever confess and ask for forgiveness ?

Looking at Rwandans today with a certainty that such an atrocity can never happen again , you wonder `` How did this ever happen in the first place ? '' When Rwandans say `` never again , '' I believe them . But when I look at the international community , those words do n't have the same meaning . Are we really a community in which most of us watched this suffering and death from the sidelines ?

It will happen again somewhere else . We 've seen it in history .

In March of this year , I was asked to head our program in the Central African Republic . The lessons from Rwanda still echoing in my head , I was compelled to say `` yes '' to a country being torn apart by intercommunal fighting , just as Rwanda had been . My time in Rwanda has shown me the limitations of what the international community will do in situations like this , but also taught me lessons and given me hope .

Just 20 years ago , Rwandans went through genocide , but they came back and they came back quickly . I attribute a lot of that to the strong will , the leadership and most importantly , to the resiliency of the Rwandan people .

Peace is possible . Reconciliation is possible . I pray that we can realize the same here in Central African Republic . And we can , with a little influence and a lot of political will .

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April 7 marks 20 years since the start of the Rwanda genocide

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LeAnn Hager , an aid worker , spent 2012-2014 in Rwanda

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When she heard Rwanda , she thought of genocide , until she got there

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